This post has been a few months in the making, but I am beyond excited to share that we are adding a sweet baby girl to our little Crisp crew!
God has been working in our family the last year in incredible ways!! This journey has been unexpected, exciting, heart wrenching, joyful….all mixed into one! I want to share with you today the journey that got us here, and ask for your prayers as we anxiously await the arrival of Evee Ruth….in just a few short weeks….eeek!
My husband and I are both the oldest of three children, and three just felt right to us! We had already been blessed with two sweet boys, so we dreamed of having just one more baby to complete our family. We decided in 2017 to give it a year to try to conceive, and agreed that if it didn’t happen in that time frame, we would consider our family complete….p.s. I think God laughs when we try to put these types of time constraints on our lives….HIS plans are SO much bigger! But if you know me, I like to have a plan, and this one seemed right.
I was SO excited in May to find out I was pregnant!!
I waited until Father’s Day breakfast to tell Mac, although he said my eating habits the weeks prior had already given me away (Mama was hungry!!) We were so excited!! It seemed like our perfect plans were laid out before us, and baby #3 would arrive in January! My doctor visit the Friday before had raised some concerns that she said were, “probably nothing,” but she had asked me to come back the next Friday to follow up.
That next Friday an ultrasound and some bloodwork revealed that for some unknown reason baby Crisp had just stopped growing at week five. I should have been week eleven at the time. I was devastated. She gave me medicine to cause a miscarriage and prepared me for what was to come….except nothing happened. The medicine didn’t work. I woke up that next morning after taking the medicine so upset, angry, confused…..can my body not even get THIS right?!? But if you don’t think God has a sense of humor, I walked into the kitchen to find this…..
Don’t judge the state of my fridge, the multiple cans of whip cream or the beer…it had been a tough week….but I had to just stop and laugh through my tears at these sweet little buns! And like any good mother, instead of quickly grabbing him so he didn’t fall, I grabbed my phone and snapped a pic instead….I clearly need more children! Haha! It snapped me back to the fact that God had given me two beautiful boys, more than I deserved already, and maybe that was meant to be enough for us.
I’ll spare you the details, but it was months before my body had recovered and I was cleared to try again. Most of my body did not get the memo that this wasn’t happening. I went through a wide variety of emotions (all those hormone changes didn’t help!), I prayed continuously, and by December, I had pretty much surrendered to the fact that time was up, and I needed to close this chapter.
It was our Christmas party in my mom’s group that changed everything. My friend Lisa got a text and burst into tears. She explained that her adopted daughter’s birth mother was pregnant again. The agency had contacted her and her husband to potentially adopt this baby too, but she was torn as to whether they could handle it….this would be baby number four for them. As our small table of women tried to help her sort through what to do, my heart started pounding out of my chest, tears streamed down my face and what I can only describe as the Holy Spirit’s voice said,
“THIS IS YOUR BABY!!!”
I will never forget Lisa looking over at me and saying, “I did think about you….is adoption something you’ve thought about?” The answer was no. It really wasn’t. It wasn’t on our radar or something we had ever really considered. She began to tell me a little about the process as my head was swimming. She offered to send me whatever information I needed, just so I could be informed when I went to talk to Mac about it, but she didn’t want me to feel pressured in any way.
Lisa said if nothing else, this interaction gave her peace that this was not her baby. I prayerfully prepared to talk to Mac about this. I knew his response would make it clear to me if this was God’s plan or just me being emotional. Mac is the logical, rational one….he is calm, collected, analytical…and typically I am the more impulsive, enthusiastic one, leaping into a plan while he points out the ways things could go wrong….it is a good balance! Mac will research something for months and months before reaching a decision. I knew I could not drag him into this in ANY way. He had to be all in or it wasn’t happening.
We had already planned to take the boys to see Christmas lights that night. I prayed for the right words as I told Mac what had happened that morning, and gave him all the information I had from Lisa. He was quiet for just a minute and then just said, “I think this is our baby.”
If you know my husband, you know this is the work of God. Through this process there have been moments over and over that I have brought situations to him, holding my breath, and sincerely saying, “If you are not okay with this, we can just say no.” But he has been ALL IN every step of the way.
Adoptions can typically take 12-18 months, but we have crammed all of that into the last 4 months, as this baby is due the middle of May. The amount of paperwork and steps to complete an adoption have been overwhelming at times, but God gave us Lisa’s family, to hold our hands and walk us through it, as well as the support of family and friends. We have been SO nervous to share, as this is not complete until Evee is home with us, but God laid this plan before us, and we are stepping out in faith.
Another beautiful part of this plan is that these sisters, just 15 months apart, will get to grow up just miles from each other. Our plan is that they will always know they were adopted, always know they are sisters, and always be surrounded in love. There is so much that comes with adoption that we will need to navigate throughout the years as these girls have questions, but I am thankful God gave us another family to walk alongside. The parallels of our families also align in so many ways….it gives me chills.
As heartbreaking as that miscarriage was, I know it prepared and opened our hearts for this. God took something so ugly and hard, and wove a beautiful story that is just beginning. The circumstances around the birth mother are not mine to share here, but I will ask for prayers. As a planner (aka control freak) I have had to rely on God more than ever to trust that our baby girl is in HIS hands. I know HE heals the broken, and the opportunity to love this baby is all that we want.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading! I will continue to share our journey here, and ask for prayers as we are a bundle of nerves/joy/excitement all rolled into one!